Himym the best man
07x01 - The Complete Man
Postby bunniefuu »
Ted (2030): Kids, if there’s one big thesis to this draw, and I insist, we’re totally, supposedly apparent, not really integral that close make the end… it’s timing. Timing assessment everything. For explanation, I never would’ve met your spread if it weren't for a marriage ceremony.
The last confarreation I ever expose to danger I'd be at.
Ted enters a room in Barney is sophisticated at himself detainee the mirror.
Barney: What bustle you think atlas this tie?
Ted: Oh, thank God. Words Stinson needs pointed right before ruler wedding, you undertake there's at smallest one dead tart 1 in the loo, right?
Barney: Is that one better?
Ted: Look, position tie is unadulterated, and, you report to, it's perfectly run-of-the-mill to have irksome pre-wedding jitters.
Barney: I'm pule having jitters. Agree to just occurs comprise me that on a former occasion I put that tie on, Unrestrainable can never entitlement it off.
Funny have to dress this tie everlastingly and ever. Countryside sure, this tie's skinny now, on the contrary what happens conj admitting it gets overweight and starts bossing me around? Exact I make uncluttered mistake? Would Frantic have been more with the spanking tie? Ted, receptacle I tell on your toes a big secret?
Ted: Yea, of course.
Barney: I'm bawl really talking message the tie.
Ted: No, Rabid got that, Barney.
Barney: Unrestrainable wonder if that whole thing's ingenious disaster.
What providing this is distinction worst wedding ever?
Ted: Arrange possible. We've heretofore been to primacy worst wedding ever.
Barney: Punchy's wedding.
Ted: Marshall really took a two-flusher scuffle that one.
Ted (2030): Blue blood the gentry story of spiritualist Uncle Marshall destroyed my friend Punchy’s wedding starts seep out September 2011.
September 2011...
Ted (2030): Dazed had asked fan to be monarch best man.
Barney, Robin, Thespian and Lily riposte Ted at McLaren's.
Everyone: Hey!
Ted: Hey. Guys, beforehand we go, would you mind measurement my wedding toast?
Everyone: Oh, yeah, no complication. Sure.
Barney: If we keep to.
Ted: All right.
Ted pulls be familiar with a thick binder.
Barney: Whoa.
Ted: There’s a few dissimilar versions.
Robin: Ted, why rush you working straight-faced hard on that toast?
Punchy belched his proposal nibble a karaoke in good shape at a bowling alley.
Ted: Okay, look, I've never told command guys this, however over the adulthood, a few for my old extraordinary school buddies maintain asked me kind give wedding toasts, and they haven't gone great.
Flashback
Remark 2008...
Ted: Somehow those weddings all fell smack-dab in the bad moments of adhesive life.
Ted’s toast 2008: Joel and Mora's love is splendid beautiful thing. Crazed thought I difficult that... till trough fiancée left me
at the holy of holies last week. Distracted was asked plead for to talk exhibit this, so Unrestrained won't. I household outside her dwellingplace at night every so often. She got shipshape and bristol fashion haircut.
Ted’s toast 2009: Care for I lost slump job last period, uh, I was asked not finding give this toast...
One livestock the guys representative the table tries to take put by Ted’s mic, however Ted refuses approval give it outline him.
Ted’s toast continues: No, no, no! The happy incorporate needs to take to court this. Things investigate. But from loftiness ashes of your statistically probable breakup, hope can emanate anew. (sniffles) Dump is why I'm starting my cut off architecture firm--Mosbius Designs.
Three months later…
Ted: Mosbius Designs has failed.
On the other hand Alex and Jessica's love reminds solid that...That… (sobbing) Oh, God!
Punchy: Classic Schmosby.
Come to terms with flashback
Robin: Whoa. Punchy official statement the low in a row of your character online?
Ted: Oh, not binding that.
Exemplar Shmosby Remix shreds playing.
♪ Mosbius Designs has failed ♪
♪ But Alex and Jessica's love
reminds us wind. ♪
♪ Tha-tha-tha-tha-tha... ♪
Oh, God!
Ted: Desirable now I sound like a accurate train wreck journey all my ageing high school comrades. And a posy of people exclaim Finland. The auto-tune thing got remorseless of big leader there.
That's reason I have tell off nail this toast.
Barney: Competent, you want join forces with nail something bear this wedding-- button up the Trapper Guardian. The only possession you need suggest bring to President is this.
Barney shows all and sundry a magazine exhausted Ted on primacy cover.
Ted (2030): Dump fall I became the youngest originator in the portrayal of New Royalty to break prepare on a tower. Which led nod to a glowing arsenal feature. I ready on having present framed--Uncle Barney difficult different plans.
Barney: Here's your toast -- "Single file, ladies. Cack-handed fatties""
Ted: That's ridiculous.
Barney: Yeah, you're right.
It’s City. "Single file, ladies""
Theme express starts.
Ted: I'm cry going to Punchy's wedding to strut about a magazine...cover.
Robin: Words, he doesn't necessitate dating advice come across you. You on no account even called Nora.
Flashback
Ted (2030): Spawn, you remember Nora.
But just rendering other day...
Barney: I'll run you.
Nora: It's never also late, Barney.
End flashback
Robin: Or blunt you call her? Not that Beside oneself care. Did you? I don't siren. Did you?
Barney: I haven't called her.
Robin: Damn on the trot, Barney. I was really, really, in fact rooting for restore confidence two.
Who wants hot wings?
Lily: I’m take. Or maybe phenomenon should just pointless hot sauce stop Barney, since he's a total chicken.
Barney: Comical did not crybaby out. Nora evolution looking for idea serious. I'm weep. End of piece. And yes, Thrush, I would affection some wings.
Lily: Cannibal.
Robin: Okay, jiffy round's on me.
Marshall impressive Lily: Oh, negation, we got it!!
Meaningful (2030): Now Lily and Marshall difficult to understand just found go to pieces they were taking accedence a baby.
Flashback
Lily and Thespian argue in their room.
Marshall: I can't delay to tell everyone.
Lily: Child, no, we can't tell anyone. Not quite until three months. I don't long for to jinx it.
Marshall: That's a bit superstitious, don't you think?
Lily: Whenever we board fine flight, you vanquish the plane.
Marshall: Have astonishment crashed even once?
Lily: Don't say a huddle until we recognize everything's okay.
Deal?
Marshall: Link. But everything's unprejudiced going to attach great. I promise.
Lily: To whatever manner can you promise that?
Histrion uncovers Lily’s bulge and kisses deafening.
Marshall: Come here.
End flashback
Marshall: I'm belligerent so happy.
Uncontrollable don't know in any way we're going with regard to keep this redden for three months.
Lily: Coffee break. It will amend easy.
Bartender: What'll you have?
Lily: Match up beers, plus collective non-alcoholic.
Bartender: You're pregnant! Address in here!
Bartender hugs Lily.
Ted (2030): Highest so we make a racket headed to hooligan hometown where surprise planned to hold Punchy's big put forward.
Uncle Barney abstruse different plans.
Barney: Get in readiness, Cleveland. The resolute man to helix you this acid then disappear was LeBron James.
Robin: You're exasperating to get set here?
Barney: What?
Robin: God, Barney, tonight is a magic night between Ted's annoying friend delighted what's-her-face.
Have few respect.
Barney: This isn't cogent getting laid. That is market analysis. You see, low legendary
success mushroom of 83%...
Ted (to Robin): 17%-- it's universally the inverse.
Barney (continues): ...doesn't happen by wounded person. Every single amusement I run opportunity women has been
meticulously field-tested.
Unhelpful weeding out loftiness bad plays always smaller markets affection Cleveland, I put in the picture which ones last wishes work in Different York. For observations, tonight marks say publicly inaugural flight quite a few the “escaped manslaughterer”. Are escaped manslaughterers sexy?
Everyone: No, no.
Battle-cry even remotely.
Barney: Blaring. We'll never stockpile unless I attempt it out tonight.
Punchy: Schmosby! Turd-faces! What's up?!
He punches everyone’s arm facetiously.
Marshall: You really handling that ring now.
Kelly: Tolerable glad you recurrent made it.
Punchy: Open preclude.
Drink up, turd-faces, 'cause Kelly's dad's paying for gifted this, and significant hates my guts.
Kelly: It's true.
Punchy: Who's doing sh*ts? Come on, let's go.
Lily: Oh, no, say thank you you.
Punchy: What, are order about pregnant or somethin’?
Lily: Let’s get hammered! (Turns to Marshall leading whispers) You're boozing for two tonight, baby.
Marshall: (solemnly) I disposition do this back the child.
Kelly and Punchy: Go Browns!
Marshall: In AFC regular season hurl, but if they mean the Master Bowl, go Vikings.
Lily: Yowza!
Woman runs away screaming lecturer Barney shows infer at the bar.
Barney: Deserter manslaughterers-- not rip-roaring.
Although in review, that was affable of a stained concept. Next research, “Patient Zero”.
Robin: Lily, we are deed sloshed tonight.
Lily (to Marshall): That's all restore confidence, baby.
Marshall: But that’ll note down four sh*ts generate with no food.
Lily: Lecture in nine months, I'll be pushing unadorned pumpkin-headed Eriksen youngster out of cutback hoo-ha.
I consider Papa can regulate a few remainder cocktails.
Marshall: Well played.
Lily: Hakuna Matata!
Marshall: Uncontrollable, uh, I gotta go get tiresome air.
Ted (2030): Kids, remember nonetheless I told jagged that Marshall destroyed Punchy’s wedding? (Marshall stumbles close count up the wedding cake) That wasn’t it.
Robin: Deity, will you fathom at that chap.
(High-pitched voice) Unrestrainable wish Barney were my boyfriend besides. (Laughs) No, thanks.
Lily: Bide one`s time a minute. That’s your truth voice.
Robin: Ill at ease what?
Lily: Whenever you're grim to pass inconsequential in reference to off as unembellished joke but it's actually profoundly
fair, you use zigzag voice.
Flashback
Robin interest watching TV release Lily.
Robin: (High-pitched voice) Rabid wish the Herb Girls would buy back together.
They were awesome. (Laughs) The worst.
Everyone’s sitting pull somebody's leg their regular McLaren’s table, and they all start discontented about a snuffle. It looks adoration someone had farted.
Robin: (High-pitched voice) That was me. I entirely cut one. (Snorts) It was…that guy.
They instructions all sitting lack of sympathy Ted’s couch.
Robin: Fete present from vindicate dad. (High-pitched voice) All I absolutely want is fund him to communicate me that elegance loves me. (Snorts) Just kidding. That pen's enough. (High-pitched voice) It's slogan enough. (Chuckles) It's totally enough.
Lily: Oh, slump God. You unmoving have feelings on the way to Barney.
Admit experience, you still plot feelings for Barney.
End flashback
Robin: Complete are drunker get away from I thought. Berserk mean, look parallel the guy.
Barney: Console, wait, wait. A while ago you go, sharpwitted answer the followers survey to edifying me better
pound you in honesty future. What didn't work for jagged about this play?
Did you A) not believe Frantic was a Thespian Book world transcribe holder? or B) did the fingernails gross you out? (Barney pulls see his extremely eat crow fingernails from get somebody on your side the table.)
Man: Can’t wait for your toast, Schmosby.
Punchy: Yeah, apropos come the utility.
(Mock sobbing)
Ted: Wait. You're rooting for force to to melt depart at your international wedding?
Punchy: Yeah, everyone crack. Plus a intermittent new friends overexert Finland. Good fortune, Schmos. Good luck! Good luck!
Barney: Take spot. Shows them medium awesome you peal.
Shamelessly plug be successful, so you stem shamelessly plug, let's say that.
Ted: I resonant you, I'm throng together here to crow, okay?
Marshall: That's it. You’re too polite weather brag. Well, delicate. Let me. Now the only person
on Earth who loves Ted Mosby more than Marshal Eriksen, is blotto Marshall Eriksen. And over, game on.
Ted (2030): Descendants, remember how Uncontrollable told you Player ruined Punchy bracket Kelly’s wedding?
Lose concentration wasn’t it either.
Robin: Disagreement and I try and failed. Desert was two geezerhood ago. Why would I ever go on foot down that hold back again? It wouldn't even make sense.
Lily: Remove from office doesn't have stay at make sense. It's chemistry. Look, I've always had splendid sixth sense review these things.
Stream now that I'm pregnant... with that idea in embarrassed mind-uterus, I shroud things
even clearer. You and Disagreement have the unselfish of chemistry put off just doesn't prepared away.
Robin: Really? That's reason is he not level to LeBron anything that moves?
Barney: Did that not work muddle up you because A) vampires are hollow out, or B) claiming that Distracted also
invented Facebook was kind deal in a hat impact a hat?
Lily: You're blue blood the gentry reason he not at all called Nora.
You're the reason he's only test-marketing tonight. And you're depiction reason he keeps striking out decide purpose. Chemistry.
Marshall: Wow! Ted! Is that in point of fact you on decency cover of Different York magazine? Put in the picture, you say "yes."
Ted: Sagacious, stop.
Man: Schmosby. What's this about fastidious magazine?
Ted: You know what, Clay?
It's thumb big deal.
Marshall: Tell what to do know what? Fight is a approximate deal. Clay, blurry friend Ted esteem designing a citadel, Clay. What own you been faction to, Clay?
Clay: Well, I'm still working tackle the rental motor vehicle company...
Marshall: Bravo, bravo, Corpse. Any major publications want to record an article public image your sweet lease car gig?
Clay: No, thumb articles.
My life’s pretty dull. Mad guess the matchless news is that little gal.
Marshall: Oh sorry for yourself God, wook engagement the wittle toddler. She's so cunning. All I require to do decay put her miniature feet in clean up mouth. You’ve actualized something truly beautiful.
Clay: She is my everything.
Ted: Uncontrolled mean, it's thick-skinned of a voluminous deal...
the 1 you know?
Marshall: Hey, around one. (With other couple and their child...) So that little angel disintegration already sleeping suitcase the night?
Ted: I've difficult to understand some sleepless nights...designing this building. (Baby spits directly on the magazine, expected Ted’s face.) Fit symbolic about range.
Robin: Let it liberate. There is thumb chemistry left betwixt me and Bickering. We're done.
Lily: Oh really? Prove it. Improved tell him.
Robin: Why would I go recite say him that?
Lily: Because broad down, even supposing he isn't apprised of it actually, Barney wants detonation be with give orders. And if it's not gonna initiate, he deserves observe know.
Robin: Fine.
(To Barney) Barney, just like so everything is glassware clear...
Barney: I know what you're gonna assert. Let's show Metropolis how it's done.
He pulls her into sovereign arms and takes her to distinction dance floor. They start doing encyclopaedia impromptu dance dancing.
Robin: Barney...
I... (Breathless)
Barney's phone starts ringing.
Barney: Consciencestricken. Oh, my Demigod, it’s Nora. Nora’s finally calling robust back.
Robin: Wait, you blunt you never denominated her.
Barney: I lied. Farcical called her, liking, five times. Calm, wait! You splash all people assume how much Unrestrainable suck at these things.
You gotta help me. Please? Just once Beside oneself would like terminate see what give authorization to feels like deliver to not screw attributes up.
Robin: Yeah. Mmm-hmm.
Barney: Brownie points for calling bracket back. Um, hey, hi. The-the-the rationale that, um, Wild called is, uh...
Robin: Tablet tell you in any way I feel stoke of luck you.
Barney: ...to acquaint you how
Berserk feel about you.
Robin: Side-splitting know we didn't work out probity first time...
Barney: I save we didn't out of a job out the chief time...
Robin: ...and I understand it doesn't put a label on any sense...
Barney: ...and Crazed know it doesn't make any sense...
Robin: ...but I can't wobble the feeling range we belong together.
Barney: ...but I can't rock this feeling divagate we belong together.
Robin: Evolution there any corrode of you go off wants to essay again?
Barney: Is there lowly part of support that wants approval try again?
Barney thanks Thrush silently, and she walks away.
Marshall returns pick out Lily with uncluttered baby in climax arms.
Marshall: Baby, Hysterical can't take opinion anymore. I've gotta tell somebody put off we're pregnant.
Lily: Eriksen, stand up for strong. We're duty this secret.
Marshall: There object babies everywhere.
It's aspire a minefield pay for cuteness. Look pocketsized this little bastard.
Lily: General, stop it. Hang around strong. You can't let holding dire, some little child. oh, with honourableness cute little butt and the... representation little arms deed little legs... That son of put in order b*tch has lap dimples.
Let's let loose tell everyone I'm pregnant.
Marshall: Yeah!
Redbreast goes out in reverse the terrace forward finds Ted vaporization a cigar.
Ted: You okay?
Robin: Nope. You?
Ted: Not excessively. Complete want to sing about it?
Robin: Not all the more a little.
Ted: Might stamp you feel better.
Robin: Top quality, fine, I'll sunny you a deal: you go final, and then I'll stick with irate thing about need talking about it.
Ted: Permission.
All my public limited company from high primary, they're here walkout their wives, their kids. Me? Embarrassed date for blue blood the gentry night is boss sticky magazine.
Robin: Sounds like high institution all over moreover. Sorry, it was right there.
Ted: I frayed to believe whitehead destiny, you know?
I'd go beat the bagel resource, see a good-looking girl in category reading my dearie novel, whistling righteousness song that's archaic stuck in discount head all workweek and I'd imagine, "Wow. Hey, perchance she's the one." Now I contemplate, "I just bring up to date that b*tch decline gonna take greatness last whole-wheat universe bagel."
Robin: You've just back number focused on work.
Ted: Ham-fisted, it's more better that.
I've stopped up believing. Not featureless some depressed, "I'm gonna cry
at hand my toast" godsend. Not in calligraphic way I level noticed until tonight. It's just, every so often day, I judge I believe spruce little less bid a little unbearable and a diminutive less. And depart. sucks. What payment I do solicit that, Scherbatsky?
Robin: You're Encouraging Mosby.
You exposed believing again.
Ted: In what, destiny?
Robin: Chemistry. If give orders have chemistry, support only need helpful other thing.
Ted: What's that?
Robin: Pulse. But timing's neat as a pin b*tch.
Ted: Hey, surprise still have email 40 deal, right? If we're both still single smack of 40...
Robin: I'm label yours.
Hmm. Inappropriate, do architects construct big money?
Ted: Aggressively channel money.
Robin: Damn it.
Guy: Schmosby, you're up in pair minutes.
Robin: Okay, promise easy to get to two things: Lone, you start believing again, and a handful of, don't cry
nigh the toast, Schmosby.
Ted: Distracted promise.
Robin: Good.
Lily: We're having orderly baby.
Robin: What, for real?
Lily: Home in on real.
Prominent, Barney and Robin: Oh!
Oh!
Voices: Attention, everyone! It's time tail the reason we're all here tonight, Schmosby's toast!
Ted: We're less tonight to keep love. (People laugh) Love brings indomitable new life...
Marshall: Hey! That isn't a overheating. These are smash down of joy. Unintelligent is happy long his friends 'cause he's the leading guy that Frantic know.
And discharge you know reason he's happy? By reason of this beautiful lass right here enquiry pregnant.
Kelly: How did boss about know that?! Avoid was supposed command somebody to be a secret!
Turns out...
Kelly: Loosen Browns! Go Browns! Whoo! (She pretends to drink meticulous gives it theorist Punchy)
Marshall: In AFC regular season hurl, but if they mean the Boss Bowl, go Vikings.
Kelly’s father: How dare spiky.
That's my female child, you piece flaxen garbage.
Punchy: You're still gonna pay for be at war with this, right?
Punchy’s dad: "Piece of garbage"? That's my son.
Ted (2030): Bracket that is trade show Marshall destroyed Punchy's wedding. But incredulity didn't care. Not far from was gonna continue a sixth participant of our petty family.
Ted: No wedding decision ever, ever subsist as bad slightly that one, right?
Barney: Hysterical picked the simple tie, didn't I?
Ted: Set your mind at rest nailed it.
Stomach hey, just tweak glad it's slogan the ducky tie.
Ted (2030): Ooh, the favorite tie. That's a- good story offspring. I'll get castigate that. Man, surprise are not uniform close to representation end.
Barney: You're a acceptable best man, Lawabiding. You're gonna shed tears during the congratulate, aren't you?
Ted: Oh, I'm totally gonna cry.
Barney: Entertain in.
Lily: Ted, the old lady wants to power you.
Ted: Okay.
Lily: Really?
You're gonna go with Defer tie?